Who designed these uniforms?
So NFL ratings are down for the season?? I’ve got an idea, let’s put Titans-Jaguars on Thursday night. And you know what, let’s dress the Jaguars up like giant bottles of Grey Poupon. Surely that will get people to watch? The Jags are near the top of the draft every year, and Blake Bortles and even T.J. Yeldon were pretty good last year. So what does everybody do? They predict Jacksonville to make the playoffs for the first time in a generation.
The Titans are also near the top of the draft each year and they went the same route as the Jags, drafting an Alabama running back. Both teams did a similar thing in keeping a head coach that badly under performs expectations. The Titans are only in the second year of this coach while Jacksonville is in the 4th year of the Gus Bradley experiment. Somehow though these two teams have switched positions with each other. Tennessee has been better than expected and they have a lot of young talent that look like they will be leading the organization for years to come. They’re 3-4 and Jacksonville is 2-4, but the Titans have been more competitive in all of their games.
Still the fact remains, tonight’s game will feature the Titans and Jaguars. Hey, what’s on PBS tonight? A documentary on the golden age of Russian poetry? Let’s watch that. Better yet, just kill me and get it over with.
I know there’s a rule that every team must be featured on Thursday night so that all teams are treated equally, but let me ask a better question? Why are there Thursday night games at all? I understand Thanksgiving, it makes great sense: there’s nothing else to do when you’re sitting around with your family. Once you make your yearly small talk with that uncle you only see once a year, what else is there to do? Football gives us a common identity and language. It gives us something to talk about with that uncle we never see. But enough with the Thursday games the rest of the year.
Here’s another thing, Thursday night games are bad for fantasy football. You have to make decisions about who to start too early in the week. If you have a good night that’s cool, but too often the players are not fully rested and the games aren’t high scoring enough to make it worthwhile for fantasy football. I’ve never heard of anyone who likes Thursday games from a fantasy football perspective. We’ll have to accept it because there are no signs that it’s going away. I like some of the Color Rush uniforms, but these grey poupon ones you’ll see tonight are going to make you want to throw up.
Nothing left to do but look at last week’s games:
2GurleysOneCup @ Titans
Colton is getting close to wrapping up the cash for the best regular season record with 6 games still to go. He’s been on such a run that he would need to lose 50% of the remaining games and someone else would have to win out. Injuries can happen at any time as we all are painfully aware so anything could still happen. I will have to hand it to him though, Colton has played the waiver wire incredibly well. The only guy he had below double figures was his IDP. David had a decent week, but he lost by like 60 so that’s little comfort. Playoffs are still attainable so there’s no need to hit the panic button.
MayTheSchwartz yada, yada, yada @ Spurlock
It gets tiring typing out the team names each week, so there you go. Nathan continues to romp and adding Devontae Booker this week is only going to continue to help him if the rumors about CJ Anderson are true. Even though Coleman had a good week you certainly don’t draft Odell Beckham hoping for 4.9 points. Here is a list of WRs that were better than Beckham this week: Davante Adams, AJ Green, Mike Evans, T.Y. Hilton, Julio Jones, Randall Cobb, Kenny Stills, Michael Crabtree, Marquise Goodwin, Tyrell Williams, Brandon LaFell, Michael Thomas, Tavon Austin, Russell Shepard, Quincy Enunwa, Cordarelle Patterson, Ty Montgomery, Tyreek Hill, Mike Wallace, Antonio Brown, Brandin Cooks, Marquise Lee, Jamison Crowder, Demaryius Thomas, Josh Huff, Jarvis Landry, Willie Snead, Marvin Jones, Golden Tate, Brian Quick, Chris Moore, Darius Heyward-Bey, Anquan Boldin, JJ Nelson, Emmanuel Sanders, Brandon Marshall, Johnny Colton, Robby Anderson, Larry Fitzgerald, Brandon Coleman, Doug Baldwin, Dorial Green-Beckham, Michael Floyd, Adam Thielen, Dontrelle Inman, Victor Cruz, Kamar Aiken, Travis Benjamin, Joshua Bellamy, Jermaine Kearse, & Julian Edelman. So nearly everyone. Let that sink in a minute. Nathan is in good shape and Coleman is right in the thick of things. Everything is still on the table.
GronkIfUrHorny @ Barely L’Eagles
Lauren could have had her second win if she had started Gordon. He’s the #3 RB in the league. Jason got an easy win keeping him right in the thick of the playoffs hunt. He didn’t have an amazing week from really anyone, but combined he had nearly 100. Stafford continues to play well. He’s an amazing talent I just hope they don’t squander it.
Aye Skipper @ Big Daddy
I’m not sure why Brian is still holding onto Josh Gordon. There’s 6 weeks left in the season and no indication of his return. Eric Decker is also out for the season so that could free up 2 roster spots. Jordan won the matchup on the strength of Andrew Luck. Just like the Colts, if he plays well Jordan wins, if he doesn’t he loses. Consistency in fantasy football is key. Maybe this trade will help his team maintain it a little more. Both teams are 3-4 so these next 6 weeks will be crucial to sort out the playoff lineup. You’ll need to win more than you lose.
Bill Cosby’s Sleepers @ Multiple Scorgasms
Mitch and I were the 2 worst teams in the league this week (except Lauren). I was watching the Monday Night game with a lot of anxiety and I was lucky to get enough points out of my Houston guys to eke out the win. Houston is not a good team, unfortunately. For some reason they agreed to pay Brock Osweiler $18 million a year while Trevor Siemian is making $600,000. You read that right: Osweiler is making 30 times what Siemian is making. Whoops. I wonder how bad the buyer’s remorse is in Houston? Mitch is still in the playoff race but he will need to win probably 5 out of the next 6 to have a chance at it unless someone at 3-4 tanks the rest of the season. Brian, I’m looking at you.
Well that’s it for another column. Enjoy whatever you decide to watch tonight. I might just take up needlepoint to give me something to keep myself entertained because this game likely won’t be enough to do it. Happy Halloween guys.