Check In

There’s only a couple of games left in the fantasy season so let’s check in and see where everybody’s at as we move closer to the playoffs.

I’m not sure if you’re up to date on Jerry Jones and his fight with the league, but Jerry is now threatening to sue the NFL to block the new contract for Commissioner Goodell.  He’s upset that the commissioner might have lied about some report having to do with the Zeke Elliott suspension.  So now he wants to change the commissioner’s contract to make it incentive based instead of guaranteed.  Goodell is furious and is digging in his heels so this is going to be a huge fight in the coming weeks.

The commissioner’s contract terms were approved back in May, and Jerry is now making huge waves about it.  The owners removed him from the compensation committee and now you’re going to see a multi billionaire throw a very public fit.

Papa John Schnatter came out and blamed the NFL for slumping sales and said he may pull his sponsorship altogether.  He’s mad that they aren’t forcing players to stand during the anthem.  This is a classic case of why businesses should stay out of politics altogether.  Now that Papa John has made these comments, the Alt Right Nazis like the website StormFront have now made Papa John’s the official pizza of the alt-right.  So now Papa John is asking people (nazis) not to buy his pizza.

papa johns

Yeah, I don’t really think it’s the NFL’s fault.

Since Jerry Jones owns over 120 Papa John franchises this was probably something Jerry cooked up with Papa John to try and put pressure on Goodell.  This thing is going to get messy before it gets better.

Let’s just be honest, everybody but Ben is still in the thick of things.  These last 3 games are crucial to your playoff chances.  The top 5 teams will make the playoffs and the three best teams get a first round bye.  If the playoffs were this weekend, the teams that go would be (in order):  Jason, Nathan Chad, Mitch, Nick.  Colton, Brian, Lauren and Jordan are all right there only 2 games out of first with 3 games to play.

Everything you do from here on out will be critical.  Start the wrong QB one week and your stud plays a division game which turns out to be lower scoring game while your benched guy gets in a shoot out with a normally stout defense?  Fuck you, pay me.

Trade away your backup QB while your other QB, the hottest QB in the league tears an ACL in practice?  Fuck you, pay me.

Nathan still almost won his matchup this week even with that happening to him.  He had the second highest point total this week.

Colton went all in on the Philly offense and if they’re going to score around 50 each week it might be enough to offset the other guys in his lineup.  If he manages a couple wins over the right teams he could still make the playoffs.

Jason’s pretty happy I imagine because he’s now 7-2 and the Lions are in good shape.  They went an entire game against Green Bay without punting once. Think about how easy the job of punter has to be.  You’re just like the kicker but very rarely is the game on the line when you go to kick.  Jason gets Colton at the right time with Philly on a bye.  He could put himself in even better position with a win this week.

Jordan got a win to keep himself in it.  Both he and Lauren didn’t start a kicker but it canceled itself out and Jordan won easily.  It’s impressive when you consider that he had 7 players on a bye and still won.  That could be a good omen for Jordan that he’s going to make a push.  We’ll see.  He’s got Ben this weekend so there you go.

Now that Watson is out, Nick has the highest scoring QB in the league with Goff, who had 31 on the bench.  He beat Brian pretty easily to stay right in the upper middle of the pack. There’s something with both Atlanta and Cincinnatti.  They both used to score a lot of points and have fallen off the map this year. Nick and Nathan play this week in a game that could have huge implications.

Mitch and Brian play each other this weekend and Brian has 5 guys on a bye.  With a win, Mitch could put himself in a spot for a first round bye.  Brian needs a win this weekend or he’ll probably have to win the last 2 games just to get in the playoffs.

Lauren has 2 of her better players on bye this week.  TE is a tough spot to fill.  I have 4 TEs if anyone wants or needs one.  You’ve got to maximize every roster spot you can. Trade deadline is Nov. 22nd.  She needs a win this weekend or she’ll be in must win territory, too.

Let’s end it on this.  If Tennessee loses against Missouri which they likely will, they’ll have a current losing streak against every team in the SEC.  Let that sink in for a minute.

8.Flying Cars in the Future




Week 2 Recap: Zeke Elliot Hands on Hips Edition

The NFL never suffers from a lack of things to talk about each week.  Usually there’s too much to talk about and you have to narrow it down.  One of the things that stood out the most to me this week was the absolutely awful performance by Zeke Elliott.  You don’t draft a guy like Elliott to get 8 yards from him.  This is the same guy who led the league in rushing last year.  Most fantasy championship winners had Elliott on their team and rode the rookie all the way to the title.  His pending suspension is the only thing that kept him from being drafted #1 overall.  When it was announced that he likely wouldn’t serve the suspension until next year, Elliott owners rejoiced at the value they got drafting a player of this caliber in the second round or late in the first.  But when they saw effort like this…..

they likely got pretty worried.  And for good reason.  A leader is supposed to set an example, not give up on the play.  When you lead the league in rushing, you’re looked at as a leader whether you want to be or not.  Now that teams have a lot of tape on Zeke you can bet they’ll use this to try and stop him.  If teams know that frustrating Zeke will cause him to give up on the team that gives them a way to beat the Cowboys.  I’m sure that teams are already game planning around this.  They would be foolish not to.  Also, you can’t have Jerry Jones out here making excuses for his star player if he wants the rest of the team to play hard.  You have to treat all players equally if you want to motivate them.  Jones is setting a scary precedent if you’re a Cowboys fan.  You can’t make an exception, you have to hold everyone to the same standard.  Or you could simply not comment to the media about it. This will be an exciting one to keep an eye on.

Eli Manning might be done.  The guy has won two super bowls, defeating the hated Patriots twice.  One of them was probably the best super bowl I’ve ever seen with one of the greatest plays in super bowl history (David Tyree helmet catch).  But to watch Eli now you wonder what happened to him and this team.  They have no offense.  Their defense is still pretty good, although not near as good as those defenses.    When you watch Eli get tackled by a ghost:

all you can do is laugh.  The Lions are much improved and they could go pretty far if they keep playing like this, but what happened to the Giants?  I’m tired of watching this team in prime time games.  Let see some teams that can play football, not QBs that get tackled by phantom defenders.

Marshawn Lynch looks happy to be playing football again for his home town team.

Here’s a word on trades:  When you propose a trade, everyone in the league then has 3 days to vote on the trade if they want to.  If the trade has 3 people vote against it, the trade doesn’t go through.  As the commissioner I can veto a trade instantly, but I will only do that for clearly one-sided trades.  For example, trading Tom Brady for Theo Riddick is a one-sided trade that will be vetoed.

The Games:  Lauren vs. Nick  Lauren had the best scoring week so far behind a great performance from Tom Brady, Ty Montgomery, andTravis Kelce.  This is the exact same thing Brady did last time he got mad.  A mad Brady is a good Brady as far as fantasy is concerned.  I’m sure Lauren hopes he stays mad, but they won’t play many defenses as bad as the Saints. Nick didn’t have a very good week.  87 points won’t win you many match ups.  The important thing is to just get to the playoffs, then the season resets.  But unless these guys play better I don’t know if that will happen for Nick.   If Lauren’s team keeps this up she could win it all.

Brian vs. Colton:  Colton has a pretty good week.  Drew Brees and Emmanuel Sanders were his best players.  The Saints will be playing from behind all year so Brees should put up record numbers again.  Brian had the lowest score of the league this year.  This is basically what his team did this week:

Yeah, you got that right, a belly flop into a pool of mayonnaise.  It’ll get better, by the law of averages, it just about has to.

Mitch vs. Nathan:  Mitch has the best running back situation in the league, and he was able to win pretty handily even with 29 points on his bench.  Kareem Hunt looks to be this year’s Zeke Elliott, and Kansas City looks to be a Super Bowl contender behind his running.  Mitch could ride these guys to a championship  if they keep playing like this.  Michael Crabtree also had a hell of a week.  It must be nice to be in this kind of shape.  Nathan had a good draft, but he’s now 0-2 and trying to plug holes in his roster. Like I said, you don’t draft Elliott to get 4.2 points from him.  Gurley looks to be back to his rookie year form and you can tell coaching makes all the difference in the world because now the Rams are playing good football (even though they lost).  They’ve been stockpiling talent for years, and it looks like they’re starting to put it all together. Cam Newton doesn’t look like himself though.  Might be time to dump him and give someone else a shot.  You can’t usually win with 10 points from your QB.

Ben vs. Jason: Ben won a match up even with his defensive player suspended.  Jason’s stud players like Antonio Brown and Matt Stafford didn’t do much this week and he lost because of it.  I’m sure they’ll be back nest week.  Ben had a lot of points on his bench which is one of the most frustrating things in playing fantasy football, but he won anyway because Freeman and Mike Evans really showed up this week.  If Ben gets the right lineup he could win a lot of match ups.

Chad vs. Jordan: My wide receivers struggles this week while Jordan had a good week out of his and that made the difference.  This was the closest match up of the week and it hurts to see your stud TE get placed on IR and lose a match up because of it.  Jordan needs a better performance from the bottom half of his roster going forward, but the important thing is to win and he did that so he’s in good shape.

I’ll wrap up with this.  Unfortunately this is going to be nine of us:


Proposed Scoring Changes

Nick noticed that the scoring settings did not include PPR and I think we should change it.  When I reset the league to add the new teams in I think it reset the scoring settings and I did not catch it.   I also would like to change the defense scoring settings to lessen the chances that a defense will score in the negative.     This is what is causing the problem with the defense scoring:

100-199 total yards allowed (YA199)  3 pts

200-299 total yards allowed (YA299)  2 pts

350-399 total yards allowed (YA399)  -1 pts

400-449 total yards allowed (YA449)  -3 pts

450-499 total yards allowed (YA499)  -5 pts

500-549 total yards allowed (YA549)  -6 pts

550+ total yards allowed (YA550)  -7 pts


I propose changing all the yardage allowed to zero points.  The rest of the defense scoring would stay the same.   Scoring settings can be viewed here:


The important thing is that once I change the scoring settings, it will be retroactive and will apply to all games played.   If we do this, I will have to go in and adjust scores to preserve the scoring and the wins and losses.  So this change won’t affect your record or your wins and losses but it will affect things going forward.  I think this is a good change because we drafted based on PPR and no one wants to start a player (defense) and get negative points for that player.  I know it’s unusual to change settings during the season but since we drafted based on PPR I think this change is needed but we’ll make sure everyone is comfortable with it or we won’t do it.    Let me know your thoughts on these proposed changes.


Week 1 Recap

I don’t know if you stayed up last night to watch the Chargers-Broncos game or not, but if you didn’t, you missed one of the all time biggest broadcasting train wrecks in sports history.   The broadcasting crew consisted of Beth Mowins, Rex Ryan, a ticking clock,  and sideline reporter Sergio Dipp.  Social media exploded after they saw Dipp’s sideline report.  It simply must be watched to be appreciated, so here you go:

This is a brand new “Boom goes the dynamite” moment that spawned a bunch of memes last night.

I don’t have a problem with a woman doing play-by-play, but Beth Mowin’s accent last night was just so weird.  Rex Ryan got better as the game went along, but he sounded like he was 10 feet from the microphone and he was like John Madden without the charisma, just giving you basic descriptions of the plays that any football fan would know.  Also, there was a super annoying ticking clock sound that went throughout the entire broadcast.  It sounded like someone was clicking a pen in the microphone.

It was like a high school crew decided to broadcast a game – on ESPN – on Monday night.  No wonder ESPN is losing subscribers.

It was a weird week of football.  Offenses were sluggish, multiple teams were shutdown or didn’t score a TD.  A LOT of stars didn’t do much at all if anything.  David Johnson went out for the season (probably).  Adrian Peterson had 18 yds rushing and looked like he wanted to whip Sean Payton with a switch. Tom Brady was dead last in the league in completion percentage.  But don’t panic just yet, something similar happened last year.  Teams will get their legs under them.  There’s a lot more I could say, but let’s just move on to the games.

Nick v. Nathan.  The closest game going into the week was this one.  Tied up going into Monday night, Nathan had a defense, and Nick had a receiver.  Nick’s Falcons guys did pretty well even though he had Austin Hooper on the bench but Nathan’s Steelers guys didn’t do much.  Zeke Elliott had an alright game but LeVeon Bell did poorly; much, much less than you expect from the first overall pick.  If I were Nathan though, I would be relieved for 2 reasons: 1.  It looks like Zeke will play all season and serve his suspension next season.  And 2, he could have drafted David Johnson first overall.  Nathan’s wide receiver crew is pretty thin.  Nick won a game but had a mediocre performance at best from most of his roster.  I’m sure it will get better though.

Mitch v. Brian.  I thought Mitch’s team was named after those memes on facebook that middle aged women go crazy for but his avatar makes me question that. He had a guy go off for over 40 points though so it’s all good.  I’m not sure why he benched Jordy Nelson, but he didn’t need him as he cruised to a win over Big Daddy Brian who had negative points from his defense. Brian had a decent performance, but let’s be honest, what in the fuck happened to Jimmy Graham?!?  In New Orleans he was a TD machine and he might as well be in the witness protection program now.  0.8 points.  I think I could suit up and get 0.8 points. What round did he get Adam Thielen in? He was the highest scoring WR in this entire matchup and was probably drafted last out of all of them.  This guy is sneaky good and if the Vikings get OL play like they did Monday night they’re going to score loads of points this year.  They looked incredible, but they did play the Saints so let’s hold off on getting high expectations.

Chad v. Lauren. You don’t draft Tom Brady to score 10.7 points.  Here’s some of the guys who scored more than Tom:  Mike Glennon, DeShone Kizer (rookie), and Jared freakin’ Goff.  Lauren didn’t start an IDP player, but it wouldn’t have likely mattered.  I’m worried about Greg Olsen and A.J. Green.  We’ll just put it behind us and move on to the next week.  Lauren had a good week from her RBs.  Dalvin Cook had a great night and he’ll continue to get better.  The Vikings were right to dump AP for Cook.  He’s going to be a great player for a team who could go deep in the playoffs if they continue to play like they did last night.

Jason v. Colton.  I’ll be honest, when Jason drafted the Jags defense I thought he was crazy.  29 points later I feel stupid.  Jason had the strongest week of anyone.  Stafford justified his contract by the way he played.  The Lions put up 35 on one of the better defenses in the league and this could finally be their year.  If the Lions somehow make it to the super bowl it would be a great story.  Their offense is high octane and maybe they got their defense fixed.  Not even an amazing performance on defense from the Rams (of all teams) was enough to save Colton.  You don’t draft guys like Julio Jones to get 8 points from them.  None of his skill guys except for Brees were in double figures.  His RB crew looks a little sparse, but things could change.  It usually takes offenses a couple weeks to get going.

Jordan v. Ben. Jordan got the win, but also some bad news.  With David Johnson out for 2-3 months there’s no guarantee that they will even use him when he gets back healthy.  If the season goes the way most people now think it will, they might shelve him until next year.  They have a lot of old guys so they might decide to write this year off and plan for next.  Jordan should move Johnson to his IR slot and pick up someone else.  Mike Gillislee was a bright spot, but a couple of years ago the Pats had a RB get 3 TDs in one game and then 2 weeks later they cut him.  You never know what they’re going to do with their RBs so it makes it near impossible to plan.  Dak is looking good again so that’s a bright spot as well.  Ben didn’t have anyone score in double figures and he started Mike Evans who was on a bye.  It wouldn’t have mattered though because none of his bench guys would have given him enough points for the win.   Derek Carr might be the better play going forward not only because the Raiders are one of the highest scoring teams in the league, but if Seattle’s OL plays like they did last week,


Seattle’s O Line in Mid-Season Form Already



Russell Wilson might not live through the season.  Vontaze Burfict is suspended so Ben also needs a defensive player.

So that’s it for week 1.  Let the mad scramble for Free Agents begin!





Team Name Ideas

Nine E’Le’Veon
Zeke-a Virus
Seaucide Squad
Sandusky Shower Boys
Girth Brooks
God Hates Jags
Gronkey Kong
Luck Buddies
Rudolph the RedZone Reindeer
Tickle me Manzielmo
Beef Ellington
Backfield Penetration
Gronkey Punch
Jerry Sandusky’s Second Mile High Club
Any Given Hyundai.
Zac Sabbath
Inglorious Staffords
No Romo
Dirty Landry
Morning Woodhead
Full Blown Aids!
Dead Robin Williams Society
Hobby Lobby Unwanted Miracles
Fourth and Lynches
Manning Faced God
More than a Thielen
Boston TE Party
Dalvin and the Chipmunks
The Real Slim Shady McCoy
Mariota Kart
DakStreet Boys
Dalvin and Hobbes
Graham by the Pussy
Green Eggs and Cam
Immy GOATroppolo
Suh-Tang Clan
Trubisky Business
Gruden Gone Wild
Saved by Odell
Dirty Landry
Rudolph the Redzone Reindeer
Brussels Wilson
Honey Funchess of Oats
Watt me Whip, Watt me JJ
The Forsett Awakens
Gronktanamo Bay
Ertz, Wentz, & Fire
Under the Influwentz
Jackin’ Goff
Flacco Seagulls
Childish Cambino
American Hoyer Story
Brock Lives Matter
Stafford Infection
Dak That Pass Up

The Draft

The draft will be held Tuesday, August 29th at 5:30 at Hooters on Brainerd Road.  Here is the draft order:


  1. Nathan
  2. Jordan
  3. Jason
  4. Colton
  5. Brian
  6. Lauren
  7. Nick
  8. Ben
  9. Mitch
  10. Chad

Please bring $30 with you.  Payout will be as follows:

  • $100 for best regular season record
  • $125 Overall Winner
  • $75 Second place
  • Last Place:  A humiliating task to be decided later

3 Games Left


This is all your fault.

There are 3 games left and amazingly, no one is mathematically eliminated from playoff contention yet.  Colton could lose every remaining game and he would be in, but no one else is really assured a playoff spot.  Only 2 games separate 8 teams in the league with the great majority of teams stuck in the 5 win area.  There is no margin for error for Lauren, Jason, Jordan or Coleman.  If any of these teams lose 1 out of the last 3 games the chance they will make the playoffs goes way down.  A lot would have to go right but it’s not possible.

Any of the teams with 5 wins (Chad, Brian, Mitch, David) need to win as many games as possible because not all of these teams can make the playoffs.  In the event of a tiebreaker, points scored will be the deciding factor.  So it’s not just necessary to win games, you’ve got to score as many points as you can.  Someone is going to be disappointed, because only 5 teams can make the playoffs.

At 6-4, Nathan is probably in good shape, but nothing is guaranteed.  If he were to lose 2 out of the next 3 games and a couple of the 5 win teams wins out, it could put his playoff spot in jeopardy.  But for now, he’s the second seed with a first round bye.

Mitch has quietly moved up into the 4th place slot on the back of a defeat of the previously undefeated Colton.  Colton has probably his worst outing this weekend and Mitch had a really good one.  Mitch has gone from 2-5 to now 5-5 proving that you should never give up, as long as you keep winning there’s a chance.  He has the longest winning streak in the league with 3.

I have the longest losing streak in the league with 3 and a huge matchup against Nathan this week.  The prize for best record is still within reach for Nathan but it would entail him winning out and Colton losing out.  We’ll know more after this weekend and if I beat Nathan Colton will have best record regardless of what he does.

These last couple of weeks are super important and when it comes to fantasy football there are really 2 seasons: the regular season and the playoffs.  If your team is hot at the right time, you can go on a run and win it all.  You may have heard me tell this story, but several years ago a friend of mine had Tom Brady and Randy Moss the year when Brady set the record for most TD passes in a year.

My friend went 12-0 in the regular season and he steamrolled everybody he played.  He beat me twice that year.  We did not have a cash reward for best regular season record.  The playoffs started and we did not have first round byes. That week, it was snowing in Boston and Brady and Moss did not do much that week.  I beat him in the first round of the playoffs.  He did not get a chance to compete for third place.  He was out of the race with no cash.  He went 12-0 in the regular season and didn’t win any money.

Moral of the story is that getting to the playoffs is the first step.  From there, everything resets.  At least we have some cash for best record in this league.

Anyway, good luck to all of you this week except Nathan.